So, you found a Domme, agreed upon the activities, scheduled the session, and here it is, the day you’re going to play. Now what? What should you do before you get there?
While we don’t always have complete control over how well a scene will go, we do have control over how we prepare ourselves for that scene. That preparation can make a big difference in our experience, physically and emotionally.
Here are some things to do that will help you start your scene off on the right foot.
Take a shower just prior to the session. If you have to travel some distance to your Domme and you get sweaty, ask to freshen up when you arrive. (Some Dommes may prefer you ask to use the shower in advance, so check with her.) Some of us offer a shower if you need it. Personally, I appreciate this kind of conscientiousness, so you never have to feel embarrassed to ask. If you’re swift, I won’t count it against your session time. One area on which to especially focus: your behind. It doesn’t take long for an ass to get smelly from sitting. A smelly ass is not a pleasant ass. (I realize it may be your fetish, but, sorry, it’s not mine.)
Brush your teeth and use mouthwash. Bad breath is the number one hygiene issue I encounter (a stinky ass is the second). While some of the more pungent odors can be a real mood breaker, it’s okay; it happens to us all. Just freshen your mouth before we play. Flossing is helpful, too, because it helps remove food trapped between your teeth which, if it sits there long enough will rot…and rot never smells good.
Use deodorant. Seems obvious, but sometimes people show up with stinky pits. I realize that some people do not like to use it, but please do. Personally, I find smelly pits super distracting. It also has an effect of my wanting to keep my distance from you. If you balk because you have a problem with antiperspirants — how it’s unnatural that they stop you from sweating (I get this) or because they make you break out or something else — you don’t have to wear them, in particular. You can use mineral salt deodorants, clay-based deodorants, or even just essential oils. While they won’t keep you from sweating (which is fine) they will make your pits smell nice and not repel your Domme.
Don’t wear any fragrances. Unless a Domme has specifically asked you to, it’s best to err on the side of omitting the cologne or perfume. This is because some of us may get a headache, it gets on our gear — which can be difficult or impossible to remove (and perhaps expensive to replace) — and we may not want it competing with our own lovely scent…which you should take in with gratitude.
Groom yourself. Nails and hair. If you’re going to be doing anal play and have a hairy asshole, try to trim or shave it down, if you can. If you’re going to be doing any suction/pumping, shaving or buzzing down the area that will be pumped (e.g. nipples, genitals) will facilitate a better seal. If you’ve never trimmed or shaved and would like help, ask your Domme! She may have experience with this sort of thing and be willing to work it into your session.
Rinse out your hiney. If you’re doing any anal play with your Domme, DO NOT neglect this area. “Rinsing” means “douching” or giving yourself an enema. This cleans you out so we don’t encounter any surprise nuggets. We usually don’t want to deal with any more shit than we have to as it can be very messy, stinky, and an increased health risk to us. It can also make a sexy scene turn very unsexy. So, please, give it a nice rinse. If you don’t know how to do this, go buy one from the drugstore (they’re very cheap), empty the solution from the container, and fill it with tepid water. Gently flush your rectum out. Repeat until the water runs clear. Do this shortly before play. (Some Dommes are okay if you quick rinse when you arrive, just check with her.) If you need more detailed instructions, use a search engine for help. Again, if you’d like to incorporate this process into your session, check with your Domme to see if she offers enemas. Make sure to ask before the session. Because if she doesn’t and you’re not prepared, you may not end up getting what you’ve been looking forward to all week.
Assess your physical and emotional states. Is your back or knees bothering you today? Do you feel stressed or depressed or especially sensitive? If your Domme doesn’t ask about these things, tell her if anything is “off”. I always check-in with people before we begin so I know if I need to take something into consideration before I beat your ass, fuck with your mind, or have you grovel at my feet.
Eat something and hydrate. Eating something light before a scene is a good idea. (If it’s too heavy you may end up feeling sluggish or sleepy.) Making sure you’re hydrated is important too. If you feel you need to have a drink or snack during the session, mention this to your Domme. If you’re a diabetic, check with her beforehand to make sure she has what you need, or you can bring it yourself and have it on standby.
Stretch. If you’re prone to stiffness or aches, or you might be getting into awkward or sustained positions, do a little stretching beforehand. It helps with bloodflow and reduces the chance of injury.
Relax and enjoy yourself! The more relaxed and receptive you are to the experience, the more your Domme can focus on the scene, which increases the likelihood you will both have a great time.
💡 Tip: You can always bring travel-sized items with you and do a little prep before the scene. Some of my clients have done this and it works well. Or you’re welcome to use some of mine.